Hard times

So I am in the midst of my crunch week... or month... It seems that they always try and get you while you are down. I don't know why, but I have no motivation to do any of my work. Every time I try and start something I get distracted and get nothing done. I have wasted 8 hours today after not doing anything yesterday for the horrible football game. (we lost 51-31). It was miserable. Anyways, it seems like things just aren't working out right. Someone is upset at me and it really is for no reason at all. For some odd reason it seems as if they are just taking things out on me. I have an interview for a job at the end of the month and can't make a dinner the night before. Yet because of this, I am being called selfish and I just don't get it. The other person is now resorting to even more drastic tactics, now calling me socially unjust. What utter bullcr@p. It just upsets me. It seems as if i have become more distant from some of my friends and I am now just really down. Nothing seems to pick me up, except my gf. She still makes me smile, even when I know I have work I should be doing. It just seems though as if I am in a dark time of life. My prayer life is shot... and I really struggle when trying to focus on God. It seemed so easy before but now I struggle to pray an Our Father. Its rather rough, especially when others are counting on you to help them out. I just feel lost and writing this helps me just voice it, even if others read it. Maybe they will see why things are so confusing. Maybe I will reread this in the future and understand what God is doing. As for now, I am still lost and searching for him. Well thats it for now.

God Bless,
ForeverSearching77

Newman Club

So... maybe it has been a long time... but a new school year... maybe I will try this again.

Anyways, tonight was our first Newman Club meeting of the semester. I met a whole lot of people and am very excited about our upcoming activities. Some people seem to be very interested and I wouldn't be surprised if they start showing up more often.

As for me, my prayer life has been hurting pretty bad over the summer. I personally have not found it easy to pray. It is rough... in some ways being at home was distracting. After working 9 hour days, I didn't feel like going to Mass or praying. I was just tired... not to mention having the siblings at home. I hope that with the new school year, I will be able to up the ante.

I am excited though about starting a male bible study. I talked to my friend D yesterday and he said he would love to have a group on the book of Romans. I think it would be awesome to have an all guys group especially as there aren't that many Catholic men at St. Thomas More.

Anyways... more on that another time.

Hopefully I will see God in my life more often each day. He was clearly there today as I gave my personal testimony to other people. He has impacted my life and I know that I am not alone.

Please Pray for me.

God Bless,
ForeverSearching77.

Prayer

I was talking with my pastor today, and he shared this prayer with me. He said that it was one of his favorites. It comes from Thursday Daytime prayer in week 2 of the psalter. It reads:

Lord Jesus Christ, victim for our sins, you trusted in your Father's protection and kept silent when you were tormented. Give us that same confidence and we will gladly suffer with you and for you, offering the Father our living sacrifice of praise and walking before him in the light of the living.


I really like that. :-)

Excerpts from my heart

Several weeks ago, I attended the Evangelic Catholic Summer Training camp, with the support of several of my fellow parishioners, here is a little thank you for their support:

As Christians we are called to live out our faith. We are called to be evangelical. About 2000 years ago, Christ started with twelve men and in particular three (Peter, James and John). After spending three years with them, he had trained them to teach others about God and the importance of His love. With the help of the Holy Spirit, those twelve men have transformed the world, and started what we now know as the Catholic Church. It didn’t happen overnight, but by giving their testimonies, many disciples came to Christ.
As members of the Body of Christ in today’s Church, we are called to continue this mission. Before Jesus was crucified, he spent time in the garden praying. He prayed, “I pray not only for them, (his disciples), but also for those who will believe in me through their word, so that they may all be one, as you, Father are in me and I in you, that they also may be in us, that the world may believe that you sent me.” (Jn 18:20-21) Here he prays particularly for those who spread the Gospel. We are called to share the Good News with others.
At the Summer Training Camp, the focus was on a relationship with God. We spent the first hour of each day in prayer. Then throughout the day, we would be given time for reflection. We were shown the importance of a daily interior conversion towards God. We do this by choosing God’s will before our own. It was emphasized that this is done with a Rich Sacramental Life and through a life of Prayer and Scripture Study. One method that was introduced was Lectio Divina, or meditation on Holy Scripture.
After emphasizing methods of improving our own personal relationship with God, we learned how to share our faith. We learned how to facilitate small groups as well as how to give a three-minute testimony. These methods help us share in a Strong Christian Community and evangelize to others. Finally, by obedience to the word of God and the Church’s teaching, we are able to live an Evangelical Catholic life.
A couple days ago, I was asked to speak to our Newman Club on “Living an Evangelical Catholic Life.” After some thoughts and prayers, I felt ready to lead the meeting. The meeting went well and I enjoyed sharing a different aspect of the Catholic faith with my friends. During my preparation, I noticed the importance of scripture and prayer in my own life with Christ. I hope to be able to share this with others, letting them know that God truly desires a relationship with us, for “whoever remains in me, and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing.” (Jn 15:5)
The Evangelical Catholic Summer Training has shown me ways to live out my faith. I am now much more open to sharing His love with others. However, I must admit that the thought of being both Evangelical and Catholic at the same time amazes me but I now understand that we are called to be just that though, both Evangelical and Catholic.

Again thanks for all your support.

School Starts Tomorrow

Well, classes resume tomorrow. Fortunately for me, I only have one, so I won't be in class all day. Maybe I will update this with some pictures from the summer. I have had a very intense summer working for Roche (A pharmaceutical company). It was a lot of fun, and I know I may have changed several lives.

As for other things, I went to the Evangelic Catholic Summer Training Camp last week in Madison, WI. It was absolutely amazing. Everyone there was On-Fire for Christ, and a large portion of my week was spent in prayer and reflection. It truly was an amazing retreat. I wish I could go back there. I truly rekindled my faith and my love for Christ. Now if only I can keep it that way.

As for tomorrow, I have one class on the future of energy in our nation. It should be relatively simple but very interesting. I look forwards to it. Thats about it for now. Here are some pics of the EC trip:

This is the sign for St. Paul's, the home base.
Here is my small group. The best group ever. I wish I were back with them

Finally just a nice picture of the dock on Lake Manona

Its been a while

ARG... internet explorer is annoying. I had just written an update, but it erased it. Anyways here we go again.

Summer has started, and it has been pretty good so far. I went camping last weekend with a friend from Fort Mill and that was amazing. I think the most incredible part is that the forest didn't burn down... Hehe. We went canoeing and hiking and overall had a good time. The canoeing was so great that we went downstream and then back upstream to go back downstream again. It was supposed to take an hour and a half to go downstream but we went upstream in 45 minutes. We rocked. So if you want to go canoeing, then let me know. In the meantime we talked about everything, from women to God. I think we have decided to take over all campus ministry in SC, so watch out. We are coming.

Anyways, this weekend is promising to be just as good. I am going to my friend's ordination to the deaconate on Saturday and then moving into Florence SC where I will start my summer internship. That will be fun. All of this occurs just as I turn 20. What an amazing tale.

In the meanwhile, yesterday I went to Columbia to meet one of the candidates for our campus ministry position. He was pretty cool and I look forward to talking to him again. Afterwards, I had to race back home to help my mother with a confirmation retreat. Only as soon as I got onto the interstate, I remembered that I forgot to turn back in one of my forms to get a transcript sent. That was annoying as I had to drive back into Columbia. But eventually I made it home.

As for the retreat, it went well. It is amazing how one's outlook on faith changes over time. I don't know how much the kids got out and you can only tell in time. As for my confirmation class, I would say that less than half of us still attend Mass regularly. But one never knows. For most people, they choose not to follow their faith and in this world It is almost understandable why. However, I hope that this is not the case for these kids. I do hope that they get something more out of their confirmation.

While doing the talk, Andrew gave a wonderful analogy that I would like to talk about. He said that several years ago some Presbyterians knocked on his door and asked, "When did you accept our Lord and Savior into your heart?" To this he responded, "When did you first start to love your mom and dad?" How amazing is that, and yet how true. I don't think that my love for my parents has ever stopped and I don't think it will, they have always loved me and I them. They have always cared for me and our love will continue to grow. In the same way, God's love is very similar. If he is only slightly more forgiving than my parents, then that is truly amazing. I am willing to bet that He is. Often people fail to see Him acting in our lives but he is. I may be away from home, but I know that my parents still love me and would be willing to pick me up if I needed it. I can always talk to them. I think in many the same ways, God acts in our lives and that alone is incredible. It makes me happy and I think it is something worth pondering about.

Well I should go, I have other stuff to do and need to be getting ready for the weekend. Oh but I thought I would remind you. Today was JPII's Birthday so do say a prayer for our beloved deceased pope. Then say another for Benedict as you are already praying. :)

ForeverSearching 77

For the Beauty of the Earth

Wow. I randomly went with some friends to Folly Beach last night to go watch the sunrise. It was absolutely amazing. The colors were so rich and the companionship was awesome. I really would like to do it again. I truly enjoyed it. It is amazing how beautiful the sunrise is and how special God made it. Maybe I should try catching it more often.

As for the evening, I was almost constantly attached to one of my friends. It was pretty funny. For the first half, my friend Steph clung t0 me. she wasn't feeling really well so she stayed home, yet for the second half my friend Kate kept me warm. Don't worry nothing happened. I feel as if it strengthened both friendships, especially this morning when Kate said, "Wow, you really are amazing, even though you may have been attached to a girl all night, you never once took advantage of it. Most guys would have at least claimed that their hand slipped." Well that is one way of looking at it. I feel as if you must always respect one another. Especially close friends. Why couldn't all my friendships be that simple? Oh well. As for now, I need some sleep. Amazing how staying up all night can make you tired. Hehe.

Well God Bless,
ForeverSearching77